James was my big brother and my best friend.

James was 2 years and 8 months older than me but when we were growing up it seemed like a lifetime older. He was the cool kid that hung around with all the cool kids and I was genuinely in awe of him ( I never told him that, obvs! )

He was my hero and he always had my back and I always had his, none more so than the last few years of his life when he was in so much mental and emotional pain.

Everything seemed so much simpler when we were young. The biggest decision that we had to make was what game we would play on the Atari games console that we got one Christmas.

Don’t get me wrong, we had some massive arguments and fights but I think we both knew over the years we would always sort things out and get back to normal again.

We had some great laughs over the years and the difficult thing is, all the family jokes that only me and James would laugh at will no longer by funny. I don’t think I will ever be able to laugh like we once did, because only he knew how funny we both found it, which made it even funnier.

No longer here but always in our hearts

James Funeral

Was the worst day of our families life. How do parents ever get over losing their son? My Mum and dad handled the occasion with all the grace and composure that they taught both me and my brother when we were growing up.

There were over 250 people who attended James’s funeral and they all lined the church grounds when we left to lay him to rest

Sleep now

Is the song that was played at James’s funeral and the one that was the hardest to write. It captures the grief that we were all feeling on that day.